At last it seems my luck is on the turn!
Since saturday things have started to look much more promising and I feel like I'm getting back to my old self(smiling once more).
This morning on my way home from work, I saw the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I was driving along a country road and literally drove right through it. It just arched perfectly over the road and I felt it had been put there especially for me! Well, thats what I choose to believe. That was my sign telling me all the hard times are coming to an end, time for new beginings.
I'm not sure if you ever still look at this blog, but I will tell you this just incase you do. You know what I'm like with my silly signs and things. Well on sunday, I popped to Bicester Village(my first time for ages) only to observe this new wooden structure that had been assembled outside the Ted Baker shop. Guess the name that was on the plaque above the door? Neal's Yard. Do you remember from the book? How weird is that? You must go and see it, its quite creepy considering it's right next to the coffee shop(if you remember the chapter, you'll understand why).
For the first time in years I feel ready to move on. I know I'm writing this to you now, but it's not for any reason other than to tell you whats going on in my life. With us, I think the attraction was there but we both had completely different interests and it would never have worked. It did need to happen though, so we could move on.
We had an offer on the house yesterday but it was too low, so have given them another price and am now just waiting to here. So fingers crossed there.
Uni is going great! Made lots of lovely new friends and am learning lots of new info which I just find so interesting. I start my first placement in January, and luckily for me, I got my first choice which is working in the private mental health sector in forensics. This basically is the murderer's, paedophiles, sex abusers etc, all the high risk sectioned cases. So am very excited as this is an awesome first placement to get.

I have heard this word so many times over the past couple of weeks. So tonight I am doing some reflecting of my own:

One of my favourite songs along with some of my favourite comfort food!!!

2008 for me, has been the hardest year that I have ever encountered in my 33 years on this planet. So many emotions, both happy and sad, have washed over me. I find myself keep asking when will it stop? When will life return to a normal state of autonomy?

Today I found out my little dog Sammie has got terminal cancer. He has been part of our family for the last thirteen years. My two girls don't know life without him.

During the past week, I've taken Sammie to the vets three times. One time was to have the tumour removed from his back leg and the other times for various tests and check ups. Every time we arrived, his little face just looked at me as if to say "not again!". I wish I could explain to him why there was a need to keep returning.

It was only seven weeks ago that my youngest daughter lost her hamster, Lilly. Losing pets is so hard, especially when you have children whom you have to help deal with their grief aswell as your own.

On top of this, my best friend has just lost her mum to cancer and she was only in her late fifties. Also, two of my really close friends have just split up after twenty five years of marriage. I am so heartbroken for them, probably more so for them than I am for my own failed marriage.

What is happening? Everything is just doom and gloom all the time. I can't remember the last time I really laughed. Actually I lie, I can and thinking about that just makes me feel even worse.

Everything has just got on top of me at the moment and this once strong person doesn't have much fight left anymore. I've had to currently stop the volunteer work due to everything becoming such a burden. I am trying to keep up with everything at uni but its not easy. I need extra hours to fit in more studying. We were told just recently that the health module we are studying is the same that is studied the first year at medical school, so no pressure really.

Hopefully the next time I blog there will be better news.